Thursday, February 4, 2010

Unenthused

Foots Forecast is calling for a Historic Snow Event this weekend. I'm not as excited about this snow as I was in December. It'll be nice if we get time off school, but truthfully the only reason I'm happy about that is so I won't have to drive the commute. Other than that, I like teaching and would like to be there. Photography is already dragging because most of the class hasn't brought in the fee and therefore hasn't begun shooting with film. Sigh. I'll have to push myself to get outside. The girls would like to sled again. I still haven't gotten snow pants, so I'll have to borrow my brothers. I'll help shovel, of course, but there are more adults than there are shovels, so it's not like I'm really needed. My dad and Will can take care of it. I'm not looking forward to being stuck at home. I won't be able to make an appointment to have my dress altered like I need to. Snow ruined last weekend when I was supposed to go out with my sister for her bachelorette night. That is probably the reason I'm feeling less than thrilled. I should focus on getting something done with my time snowed in. I could edit and order prints from Snapfish. That's something I never seem to have time to do. I could work on the kids scrapbooks more. I want to get them up to date. I just don't feel enthused about any of it.

And that brings me to the real issue at hand: Seasonal Affective Disorder. I am depressed. Not that I'm unable to function and be happy enough during the day, but enough that it's interfering with my life. I snap at the kids and I dread being in the car with them. I lost it today on the highway... screamed at them. I tried calling Will when I felt I couldn't take it anymore because they wouldn't shut the hell up, but he didn't answer and that's when I went berserk. I saw the Dr. last Friday and am taking Zoloft since Sunday, but it hasn't kicked in yet. The last four years in NC I didn't have this issue with SAD. I think exercising regularly through each winter really helped. I miss the Y so much. It was more than just exercising. It was being around other women, too. I just don't have the time or opportunities to de-stress and unwind here. The commute is the problem and one of my biggest stressers right now. It would be wonderful if I didn't have to have the kids in the car, but there's no way to get around it. I just hope the drugs kick in within another week because... I hate feeling this way and my kids hate it too.

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