Saturday, January 30, 2010

Exclusive Interviews With My Children

Prior to sending my children out to play in the freshly fallen snow this Saturday, I asked them a few questions.

My 7 year old, S:
Me-What do you want to be when you grow up?
S-OK, why are you doing this? A ballet dancer?

Me-Anything else?
S-I was thinking about being a vet. I have to do my mind on that. I don't know if I want to be a ballet dancer or a vet. One more thing, um, I might want to be like a day care teacher or a regular teacher. I don't know. (Watching me write her answer) You must be bored so you want to quiz me. After you're done this can you quiz me in math?

Me-Where would you like to live if you could live anywhere?
S-Well, I'd like to live in New York City. And another thing, I'd like to live in a beautiful house with a very nice garden. What do you call those things with a table and chair underneath? Don't write that. A canopy! A beautiful canopy. That's what I want with a table and chairs underneath.

Me-What animal would you like to turn into?
S- INTO?! Um... I guess... mmm... That's a good one. Haha... I... a... um... a... a shark? (laughing) Or a cat or a dog or a cow? Ok, just not a cow. Or an anteater! (laughing) Just kidding! A squirrel (laughing) that poops on noses! (calms down, watches me write) One more thing... I have one more thing.

Me-What?
S-I'd like to turn into (laughing again) a nana that can pull noses off and make them bloody! (a lot of laughing)

S-(calm now) Now what?

Me-What will you look like when you are a teenager?
S-Oh no (laughing) Why are you asking me that?!

Me-Well?
S-Oh good one. Well, I'd look like a beautiful girl with ballet flats with a pretty dress and beautiful tights and a sassy hat. And lovely ballet flats.

Me- You already said ballet flats first. What will your body be like when you are a teenager and possibly taller than mommy?
S-(laughing) Well, my body would look skinny and nice, not big and chubby. And I do not know if I will be taller than my mom... I probably will.

Me- Will you be friends with mommy when you grow up?
S- Um, that is a stupid question. I will always be friends with you. You're my mother. We'll always be friends. Actually we'll be family, not just friends.

Me-How do you know if you love someone?
S-I don't actually know that.

Me-How do you know if you love mommy?
S- You're born with a loving heart and sometimes you're born with a mean heart, like a bully.

My 4.5 year old, G:

Me- What do you want to be when you grow up?
G- I wanna be a birdie.

Me- What kind of job will you have?
G- I wanna have a birdie job.

Me- What kind of job is that?
G- That is a birdie job and you make birdie toys.

Me- Lets see... um...
G- What? Can you help me with my boots? Can't you?

Me- In a minute. I thought you wanted to be a doctor.
G- I do want to be a doctor. I changed my mind.

Me- So will you be a doctor?
G- Yeah. I won't never stop being a doctor. Can you help me with my socks in a second? (Proceeds to put on socks while I'm writing.)

Me- Where do babies come from?
G- The butt. The gina.

Me- What do babies look like... (I was going to say 'when they're born' but she cut me off).
G- They look like tiny things... like I was a little, tiny baby. (Puts on boots while I'm writing.)

Me- Why do babies cry?
G- Cuz whey they're so upset, when they're so upset they don't know how to do they just cry.

Me- How is snow made?
G- It's made of white clouds.
Me- Mmmm....
G- Oh I shouldn't put my boots on now. (Takes them off.) I have to put my snow pants on. (Goes to get snow pants.)

Me- How do light bulbs make light?
G- You have to turn it on with a lamp.

Me- How do lamps make light bulbs light up?
G- I don't now. You have to turn something to put it on.

Me- So, if lamps turn on light bulbs, what turns on lamps?
G- A thing you tap on to turn on. (She had a touch lamp in her room.)

Me- What is your favorite kind of music?
G- (Zips up snow pants she has just put on and doesn't respond.)
Me- What is your favorite CD?
G- Little People

Me- What is your favorite song on there?
G- Happy and you know it clap your hands.

Me- How do you know if you love someone?
G- (Puts on boots.) My heart loves everybody.

And away they go to play in the snow.

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