Thursday, July 30, 2009

Eight at 28

Will and I celebrated eight years married on Tuesday. He's insane and actually bought me a gift, which he surprised me with on Monday! It was a box of Seacret body products, really nice stuff, really too expensive, but the guy works now, so I think he deserves to spend his money on me if he wants to. Then, Tuesday we did get to go out after the kids were asleep. He had dinner, I had dessert. Remember, he doesn't get home until 7:30. That was after a day of Tie-dying with the campers AND having an interview in the middle of the day, so I was so tired Wednesday that I went to bed at 7:30 and slept until 6:30 this morning. (Today is Thursday.) I'm so tired from camp that I've decided I will NOT be doing it again next summer. I want my summer back and so do the girls.

Will thinks camp is really good for the girls. I agree. But, not for eight weeks. I'd send them for four at the most. The swimming lessons are fabulous and they have fun, but it's exhausting. Also, they don't get that time that kids need to just live inside their own heads. After dinner tonight G put on some dress up clothes and started playing some make-believe game, talking out loud to someone only she could see. I had to give her a five minute warning to clean up about 3 times. If you have kids or work with little kids, you know it can be very difficult for them to switch gears or stop playing their imaginary games. They get so involved. In the end I had to put her in time out because she started screaming "No" at me and throwing a fit. Next summer, my goal/vision is to be living in a house in Baltimore (renting) and having worked a school year (something I perceive as exhausting, but hopefully not as much as camp because I won't have the long drive, at least only the first half of the year and not with the kids) so I will stay home with the girls and do fun things, like: join the Library Reading Club (and actually participate in the daytime activities/shows they have, which we couldn't do this summer, though we did do the Reading club), go to the pool, go to the park in the evening and not have to get to bed early, go camping, sign them up for short programs like art classes or a couple weeks of swimming lessons, maybe join the YMCA for the summer (or longer), go to art museums and national parks... lots of possibilities.

When I think of all the things they get to do at camp: art class, science, world tour, swimming, karate, sports, games, performances, archery (when they're older), I do think about doing it again for them. But, then I think about when I was a scheduled kid during the school year and longed to have time to "smell the roses," I remember writing that in my diary many times, I realize that summer was my break and I wouldn't EVER give back my summers at the pool and at home with my siblings and family and friends. I had fun. I had time. I was a kid. That's what I really want for my kids. I'd rather spend the money on one or two structured activities in the summer and do things on our own time the rest of the summer. Music lessons are high on my priority list, so that's a definite goal I have for next summer. I'll provide the paper and paint, books, music and dancing and I'll let them live in their own heads. TV will have to be banned, though, I already know that. Maybe only designated times for it, like an hour a day. I spent way to many hours in front of the TV growing up and S is very much like me, loves her TV time, has figured out how to use the remote, and thanks to being able to reading the guide on my parents digital TV, can pick what show she wants without having to stand at the box and channel surf like I did. Lucky ducky. This morning Will told the girls he wouldn't bring a TV to our new house if S was going to whine to watch TV when she had to get ready to leave. Oh they didn't like hearing that. But, really, one reason I SO want a finished basement is to put the TV down there and one in our room. We only had one TV when I was growing up and it was in the basement, so there was never any TV in the morning before school or during meals. I'm pulling a lot from my childhood here, but we learn from our past, so this is what I have to go on.

Eight years and two children and still we aren't on our own, yet. I'm not discouraged, though, and I certainly wouldn't change anything about my family, when it started or how it grew. I look forward to our future home and life, but the girls are growing so quickly I need to focus on them more. Hence, the ramblings of this post in thinking about how I want to be with them more and have them home with me more. Also, I'm REALLY missing Will. We've been so spoiled to be home together so much the last 3+ years in NC. We saw each other a TON. So much that sometimes I'd wish he had somewhere to be during the day more so I could just be home getting stuff done and anticipate seeing him later. I'm more productive when he's not around to distract me! Now that he's gone later working, I miss him lots.

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