Wednesday, April 29, 2009

So angry! Vulgarity Warning

I am so fucking sick of my youngest kid right now. It's been two weeks of being home with her full time. Generally during the day everything's fine... generally. And I've enjoyed my time, playing games, watching her favorite shows with her, taking her to the park, the library etc. However, when it comes to bed time she's so aweful... I want to smack the shit out of her!!!! She's keeping her sister up. They were put to bed at six fucking thirty after I read them a book and I said they could look at books in bed. But no, she starts jumping on the bed and making noise and has been in and out of time outs for over an hour! Of course I tried spanking as well because time outs weren't making a difference. She only laughed at my stern face. WTF. I fucking hate spanking. Fuck. I don't think I've used that word on here... maybe a couple times, but FUCK!!!! I hate being here without my husband. Thank the LORD he is coming this Sat. I never, ever, ever EVER want to be a single parent. Still the noise continues and I still want to smack her FACE OFF!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ten Days Gone

Even though my bed is comfy and it's all mine...I miss my husband.

A Quick Post Regarding Poop

If you've read Middlesex you may remember the part about the Calliope's mother monitoring her children's movements. If you watch Oprah you may remember Dr. Oz telling us about healthy stool being in the shape of an S or a C. Since my youngest has digestive allergies and my oldest, like myself, struggles with constipation (I know you wanted to know that!) I also monitor my children's BMs. I wasn't sure about my youngest's stool. But now I am comforted from the info in Natalia Rose's new book Detox 4 Women, where she describes "cow plop!" It's actually a very healthy form of stool that just makes a soft pile in the toilet. Ha! So, now you know, too. Cow plop is good!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I have been in MD for one week now. It's been a good week...a busy week. S started school yesterday. She handled it SO well. There were a few tears when I picked her up because I pulled up in the car (it was raining) rather than walking up to the door and she had been unsure as to where to wait for me. A teacher paired her with one of the safety patrol students, so she was taken care of. Right away from the classwork she brought home I could see the class was ahead of her NC class. No surprise. One thing they don't do here that I did like in NC is there is no teacher aid for each class and the students are simply released to find their parents. For preK and K teacher aids make sure students are picked up by the right person. But of course that does stop by first grade.

G is the one who is having the most issues. She is whining about everything, throwing tantrums, yelling and backtalking something fierce...even to my parents. She's going to bed decently. I've been reading and/or singing a few songs to them both once they're in bed. They go right out after that. Of course, she does have an ear infection so she may be more tired than usual. Tomorrow I'll be taking her to a play group get-together at an old high school friend's house. She'll be shy at first, but she'll have fun.

Truth be told, I am sleeping well... very well. Often Will wakes me up at night by coming to bed later, tossing and turning and sometimes snoring a little. The bed I'm sleeping on right now is super comfortable, more comfy than our bed, and sleeping alone I have no one to wake me up. I like the closeness of sharing a bed, but it's really not condusive to good sleep. I hope to get a king size in the future so it's easy to be close, but also easy to be far enough away that I'm not disturbed during my sleep.

I'm missing my husband. These short times apart always help our relationship. I guess the last time we were apart like this was when I had G and stayed in Baltimore while she was in the NICU for a month. I think I saw him every weekend though. So, now it's been a week and it's going to be almost another two before Will comes up here. The good thing is the weekend after he comes up he and I will go back to NC together to get our bed and the rest of our stuff as well as get his diplomas. He's not walking at graduation, but he can still pick up his diploma that Saturday. AND we can go to a graduation party a classmate is having and see some friends. Then the next weekend my inlaws can keep the girls and we can go into Baltimore with my sister or something like that. I'm looking forward to our reunion.

My grandfather is moving in with us this weekend. He had lived here before when my parents first moved here. He stayed about a year and has been living with his son and daughter-in-law for the last two. It didn't work out too well cuz his son drives a truck and isn't home much. So we'll have eight of us: one great-grandfather, two grandparents, one uncle, two parents and two kids. Yikes. Thank goodness we all have our own rooms! My brother has the best setup with the entire basement! He got a really nice carpet installed and a new couch and entertainment center, so it's practically a studio apartment. He's still working on renovating the bathroom though, which cannot have a shower so he'll continue to use the upstairs one.

I had another interview today with a Baltimore charter school. It's a halftime job for the first year because there will be so few students. I don't feel great about the interview, but it was okay. Teacher fairs are coming up so I need to get my head in the game. I never feel really prepared for interviews. So much info is swimming around in my head and I try to think about what they want to hear as well as my natural inclinations. It's difficult. At one point today I had the thought to just run out of there! Of course it was just a nervous reaction and I kept it together well. I just told myself, stop... you're smart, you can answer any question they throw at you! And I did, but I'll be glad when it's over and I have a position.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I'm here. In MD. I moved with the kids today. My husband is still finishing his last two weeks of undergrad, so I will be missing him. He'll be up as soon as he's done, though. Then he and I will go back to NC and clean up the house and finish packing whatever is left. We've gotten most of it done already and he'll be moving furniture to the storage room. Oh my sister is here, back from her huge ordeal of a trip to Ireland. I'm so glad to be close to family again. Though, being in my parent's house will inevitably soon become too close. Until then, I'm glad.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Easter

Easter weekend is here. We are going to the Vigil tonight at 8pm. The girls will be tired, because 7 is their bedtime, but hopefully they'll just be more chill. We took them two years ago when G was still 1. She was ok. This past Christmas eve mass she fell asleep five minutes into it. I hope that happens again this evening. Only, I'll be tired, too! I'm tired now. But, I'll shower and get dinner and probably wake up more. Not having to go to mass tomorrow is nice, though it's an easy way to get the candy eating to cease. Now we'll just have to just say ENOUGH! We dyed eggs this morning, but I totally forgot to take pics. I just enjoyed the moment and now at 3.5 and 6 it was very relaxed and they were very capable.

Anyway, Happy Easter!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Too Good Not To Share...Again!

This is an old post I'm bringing back because I'm finally adding a picture and will be making these again next week for G's preschool Easter party.

Since G is allergic to dairy, I've found recipes to make my favorites in a way she can enjoy. I searched the Internet a while back and found this recipe. You can substitute whole wheat flour for the spelt, but spelt is soooo good. I also added something totally new this evening and it worked very well: finely shredded coconut! Yum!

Nondairy, No sugar, No egg, Spelt Chocolate Chip Cookies:

2 1/3 cups spelt flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 cup apple juice concentrate (up to 1 1/4 cups for more sweetness)
OR *substitute honey or agave or half of each up to 3/4 cup
(half of each works very well)
1/2 cup oil
OR *substitute applesauce
3/4 cup chocolate chips (but who measures!)

Optional: up to 3 tbsp ground flax seed OR about 1/4 to 1/3 cup finely shredded coconut (I wouldn't do both as that would be too much added dry ingredients)

Just mix all ing. together well and bake for 14 minutes at 350 degrees Makes 2-3 dozen depending on how you size them.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Regarding the dinner the other night

Having dinner at Will's poker buddy's house was okay. They were very nice and our kids played very well together and had fun, though G left with a bruise on each side of her head from collisions while running in the house.

The food? Well, I ate my salad I brought, mac n cheese, a crescent roll, and some french fries. And I've been on a carb kick since! Ah! I'm going to try to shake it this weekend with plenty of green juice and fruit smoothies. Then I'll go to the store and stock up on more veggies and fruits for the next week until I move.

Witnessing the SAD was pretty interesting. After watching her deep fry the french fries in oil then salt them and then heavily salt the water for the mac n' cheese and offer the kids white sliced bread for their hot dogs and hamburgers, I was thinking how so many Americans make ends meet by giving their kids plenty of food that is high in calories, but low in nutrients. No surprise, the kids were very skinny. Growing up in a rural, hick town I saw plenty of scrawny kids. Even at a young age I knew those kids with the sunken eyes were not eating healthily (and that includes school food). After dinner, one of the sons asked to open a new bag of chips and was allowed to sit at the table and eat a few. It was a Sams brand bag of French Onion chips. On the front of the bag in large lettering it read: ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED. I thought, why is that on there as if it's being advertised. I look for "No Artificial Flavors." My goal in feeding my kids is to give them as little artificial coloring and flavoring as possible.

Oh, that reminds me. S was given a bag of cheese puffs at snack time from a classmate of hers. Because I told her teachers at the beginning of the year that she is allergic to cinnamon and possibly nuts, though we're not sure, they are very wary about allowing her to eat food I don't send. Apparently she asked her teacher if there was cinnamon in them and they told her there was only nutmeg. Well, she's reacted to nutmeg as well, so she waited until she got home to ask me. I began scanning the ingredients. I'm proud to say, after reading Chemical Free Kids I automatically recognize all the bad stuff right away. I immediately saw MSG, then two other forms of MSG, at least 3 artificial dyes and 6 forms of dairy. And that wasn't even half the ingredients. There was so much stuff in that tiny bag of cheese puffs I told her I wouldn't even allow a dog to eat them. Then I caught myself and said, look don't worry about your friends eating this kind of snack, but just know that I don't want you to have all the artificial ingredients that are in most snack foods. I told her that whenever a friend offers you cheese puffs or other packaged snack foods, just tell them your mother won't allow you to have them. I pray this doesn't backfire when she gets older. I'm not a Nazi about it, but I limit junk food. I'm looking forward to being able to provide better packaged food snacks for the kids when I make an income AND live in an area that provides such products. There are plenty of vegan, healthy sweets and snacks on the market, so my kids shouldn't feel deprived. I basically have to make cookies on a pretty regular basis so they have vegan sweets. Or I just give them a little bowl of chocolate chips.

Anyway, so I didn't consume meat at the dinner and was probably seen as a snob because they had bought steaks for the grown ups and made a ton of hamburgers and hot dogs (though they didn't have any buns). But, I'm proud to have abstained.

For further inspiration, I preorded Natalia Rose's new book "Detox for Women." It's out on the 7th and it's being sent to my parents house so it may be waiting for me when I arrive there on the 14th. I know my mom'll want to read it too. So we can get in gear together. Exciting!