Thursday, September 11, 2008

9/11

Oh my gosh. I stayed up late (11 is WAY late for me these days) watching a show of 9/11 footage. When it was over I still wanted more. Now I remember why we watched footage and interviews about this tragedy for days. How sick it was. If I had been there I would definitely have been fucked up. Especially if I were a working mom with a kid or more in day care. Oh man, I would have a HARD time going back to work and leaving them.

I was just thinking about G's preschool yesterday... or maybe it was today. I was imagining how the teachers (mostly former SAHMs--not that there's anything wrong with that) would handle a tragedy. Public schools and private schools alike plan for the worse. Teachers have crisis intervention training and training on what to do if there's an intruder. But G's little Baptist preschool? Probably not much more than fire safety training. Though, I should ask before making judgements. But anyway, I pictured the absolute worse and it's just horrible. With going to work full-time I've had one terrible dream so far where I was actually with the kids, but was struggling to keep them safe. I don't worry about S at her elementary school. She's already done a year there and she's not a big risk-taker at all. G is a different story. She's also having a hard time with me being away 5 days a week for the first time in her life. Even when I went to school 2-3 days a week I would stop home for lunch and would be done by 2 most of the time. Then I'd be home with her for the rest of the week. Hopefully she'll calm down soon. W is dealing well. He feels as I did after a day home with 2 kids, even if one was in school much of the day. It's exhausting and you can't escape. You don't "leave work" to come home. You've already been home all day. Maybe he's understanding why I got out of the house as much as possible--went to the library, the store, the Y, the park, play group, friend's houses. I feel so great having him home with G, though, rather than having to put her in day care. I could cry that I'm missing her preschool days. W took her the first day. W gets to pick her up and hear about her day. She tells me much of it at dinner, though.

Now I'm just rambling. I wanted to just post quickly about 9/11 and then I got onto my kids and well... they are extremely important to me. I wouldn't want to be without them and I pray I never have to be.

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