Sunday, July 27, 2008

I took the Plunge

I did it, I jumped in and made a smoothie with a vegetable. It wasn't green, though. A friend gave me a few zucchini, so I shredded up the biggest and went about making zucchini bread. I actually put it in a rectangle pan because the recipe I found was for two loaf pans and I only have one. It just came out of the oven and looks good and smells good. We'll have it for breakfast tomorrow. I had almost two cups of zucchini left, so I put it in the blender along with a little tofu, a nectarine, an apple, some rice milk and a little honey. The result is not bad. It's cream colored. I don't like the soy aftertaste, but I can get through it. I won't be doing the soy thing any longer though. I had a glass and put the rest in the fridge. I think I'll add a little vanilla extract to it and see if the girls will have some in the morning with me. W won't touch it. He's way to particular about fruit and vegetables. I'm pretty sure G will just drink it up and I plan on giving it to her first. S, the oldest, will not like it. She's tried soy milk and really hated it. But I'll still give it a try, after G has tried it. AND I'll be sure to remind S that there is to be NO negative talk about food. I tell her she doesn't have to eat what she doesn't like, though she has to try a bite. If she doesn't like it she isn't to say that because that influences G who wants to do everything her big sis does and then some.

It's too bad I couldn't have started down this path when S was younger and willing to try everything. She didn't start getting picky about food until she was four. She'd eat beans, any vegetable (and ask for more), and just about everything we ate. Now she'll say she doesn't want something before I've even put it on her plate. The girl is just too negative. I told her about energy today after my pilates class. I said she had a bad attitude and that meant her energy was negative and I didn't want her spewing that bad energy on me. I said I'd had a great class and I pushed all the negative energy out my fingers and toes and only breathed in good energy. You know what she said? "I don't believe in that." Come on! She's not yet six and she doesn't just take what I say as the absolute truth?! Really, I was proud of her for being so decisive about her thoughts and honest as well. I told her all living things are made of energy, we burn food for energy, etc. Still, she said I don't believe in energy like that. Then later we were watching a shark week show from last year (shark week started this evening) and the marine biologist said the hammer head shark has sensors on the underside of its head to sense the energy of any living creature even if it is perfectly still under the sand. SEE! That's what I'm saying, we're all energy, I told S. Yeah, well.... she didn't have too much to say. She just took it in and watched the show.

I talked to my mom on the phone today and her naturopathic doctor had been telling her to do things I've been reading about online, such as do a detox. The doctor actually does a 2 week detox class that meets twice a week and she told my mom to bring her daughters. The doctor said I could do a conference call for the meetings since they are in MD and I'm in NC. I wish I lived in MD already so I could do these things with my mom and sister. Health is another reason we are moving to MD. We want the health food options that aren't available here and the health care that is covered by insurance such as chiropractic care, acupuncture, and some homeo and naturopathic care.

My positive attitude is hanging on. I said a few negative things today, but I turned my mood right around. The whole family can get really stressed out and I'm tired of yelling. It's exhausting. I'm talking to the kids instead of loosing my temper. And the whole house stays more calm. I'm not going to let my daughter's negative attitude change me. I'm going to change her attitude--their attitudes really, because both girls get really cranky at times.

As I said, I did pilates today instead of yoga because there was a substitute in for the yoga teacher. I had done pilates another time when this woman substituted. She keeps it much easier than her regular pilates class and always shows the modification which, for me, equals the more doable way. The first class I did with her it was immediately apparent to her I have very limited flexibility in my legs and she started right in with the modifications. This class she was all, "good modification Lauren." I hung in there and did what I could and just kept the breathing up. At one point we sat with our knees bent in front of us and put our hands on the ground behind with our fingers pointing away from us. Then we lifted our hips up. The first time we did this my arms and hands started tingling right away and then became unbearable. The circulation was cut off in my arms. That wasn't good! But then I tried again and it worked okay. I am really looking forward to starting chiropractic care when I have a job and insurance to help pay. The adjustments I had a couple years ago helped so much, but didn't last because of my muscle memory and I couldn't afford to go for more than a few sessions. I want to commit to a year of treatment and then follow up treatment every couple months after that. The adjustments would make yoga better and I should be able to increase my flexibility with the two. I do worry that yoga would adversely affect the adjustments, but then I tell myself that yoga is really good for the body and with better posture from the adjustments I will be able to hold the poses even better and relax my muscle more to increase the stretch.

W and I are going back to the Y tomorrow morning. I'm going to do Cardio Sculpt which is basically a step class with some weight lifting and then ab work. I did it for the first time a couple weeks ago and it was enjoyable. I didn't know all the cues, so I messed up quite a bit on the steps. It was a good work out though and the music is fun.

W is coming around to acknowledging he may just be allergic to dairy. He said he was going to make a cheese sandwich today, but decided against it. Good. I told him I am really tired of him being sick. I've wanted to scream at him for being sick because it's annoying to have him tired and sitting around. I had never told him I was tired of it before because we both were legitimately sick a lot through the winter, but this summer we've avoided viruses. I said a prayer of thanks for my health this summer. S had that stomach virus and G and I didn't get sick, as of yet. W did though. Why? Not a good immune system because of all the stress he puts his digestive track under with eating dairy and high fat foods. I know my digestive track isn't all that healthy and that compromises my immune system as well, so I want to change that.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

From Crazy Sexy to Raw Foods

I saw Kris Carr on Oprah earlier this summer and something inside me clicked. As I have said, I have mild hypothyroidism. I said to my allergist, maybe there's something I could do with diet to help rather than try medicine. She didn't think there was. She's big on medicine, though I do love her. I know she'd totally support me in changing my diet. Anyway, when I saw Kris Carr and learned about how she is "always at the office of healing" because she has stage 4 cancer and is LIVING with the cancer (which she calls canSer and I haven't figured out why yet, so tell me if you know) I thought, I want the drive she has to do all things well for myself (and the rest of my family).

When I was a teen I was quite depressed at times (could be genetic, could be the thyroid, could be I ate too many Little Debbie snacks) and predicted I'd get cancer by the time I'm 40. Well, it's likely I will if I keep going the way I am. I don't even want to think about the number of fast food burgers I have eat in the last 3 years (and allowed my kids to eat). Yuck!

I may be repeating myself here, I'm not sure as I am quite tired and probably need a snack, but W and I have absolutely decided to go mostly vegetarian. He is actually on board. Little does he know what I'm cooking (or not cooking) to do: The Raw Food Detox Diet (by Natalia Rose). Now, it doesn't have to be completely raw and the book is for total beginners. Apparently if you just go raw overnight from eating fast food burgers and the like you will get very sick like you have the flu and have all sorts of mucus build up and the like. I'm not much for mucus build up, so I'm taking it slow. Really, I've already taken the first step. I've cut out all meat except fish. I may still eat deli meat as well for a while longer. The next step is a juicer. I wanna drink those green drinks. However, some can be made in just a blender and strained if needed, so I guess I should start there and save the $. My first step has been vegetarianism (mostly).

I am constantly thinking about the kid's protein needs and the kids dietary needs in general when I think about these changes. W and I already told S (who is 5.5) there will be changes such as NOT stopping for fast food... She cut in with "It's okay to have a little fast food but not all the time. Well, I said, from now on for US, OUR family it's going to be none of the time and that includes school food. Last year in pre-school she alternated between school breakfast or lunch and packed items. I had already decided I would not be doing that this year for kindergarten. The poor girl has dealt with constipation since she was one. This past year I've tested to see if it's from milk. It seems to be because when I stopped giving her milk she has better BMs. (Everything can be learned from poo--seen Scrubs musical?) So, that's gotta go too. Tofu and soy milk has to go as well. There is so much research against eating soy based products. The soy is greatly altered. Think about that car commercial where they show how they make soy foam for the padding in the seats. THAT is what soy milk looks like when it's shaken up a lot. I know a lot of people drink soy milk and that includes me. I have some in the fridge right now and used it in my cereal this morning. I also have organic milk in there. The changes will be gradual. The important thing is to keep the house well stocked with the good stuff and for both W and I to be on board.

God knows W wants to change. He's not healthy. His blood work may look good. His blood pressure may never be too high, but he's often unwell. My feeling is he is allergic to dairy and that is why G is allergic to dairy. W's own mother said he didn't react well to whole milk as a child and was given skim milk instead. When he eats pizza or icecream he gets sick. I do NOT think it's just lactose intolerance because he is up sick a lot of nights. Often I hear him say "I'm not well, I'm sick. I just don't know what's wrong with me." Well, you are what you eat and we haven't been very good for too long.

I'm marking my 27th birthday as the date of change. It's the day I went to the gym and said, "This is how I want to live my life." I need a healthy immune system and lots of energy if I'm going to survive as a teacher. It's something that has been scaring me about finishing school. The stress of new jobs and a move will not factor well with my current low energy and low immune system. I was sick literally from Jan 1 through March 15. That included influenze. That was the worst. I wanted to die! I really did. I got so depressed with that illness I didn't want to carry on. Just seeing the children exhausted me. I am glad I made it through though! I do love my life.

So, I'm beginning a new journey. Anyone with me? I know someone who has already gone vegetarian and has been feeding her daughter that way, so I'm going to contact her now and ask her advice. I'll bet she has some good cook book suggestions for vegetarian meals. It's a start for the family. I can eat cooked dinner with the fam and still eat mostly raw the rest of my day. Not sure how it's all going to work, but I'm committed and excited about it. I'm looking forward to yoga tomorrow. I need to stretch!

After the Test

I'm not napping this afternoon, though I said I would... I said it many times. I don't really like napping though because waking up is uncomfortable (as per my post about weakness). The good thing about not napping today is that I will have to go to bed early, lik 9 pm. It's 4pm now, so just a mere 5 hours away.

As for the dreaded test. The other Art Ed. test taker who was with me back in May was also back today to take both parts of the test. She has actually taught art a year on the OBX, though her degree is in Elementary. The multiple choice test may have been the exact test I took before. The art reproductions were the same and most of the questions were familiar. Not sure if I did better, but I feel I did about the same as before. I feel I did WELL on the essay! The questions actually lended themselves to answers full of name-drops and historical facts! Yay! I prepared for that. The last test had 3 part questions for each of my art works. This test had only 2 part questions which were complex, like all the examples I had ever read. I'm happy. I was able to write about charcoal self-portraits for my self-portrait. For the print (the one at the top of this blog-both parts) I was able to explain the entire process of making the print. That should get me a high score (please!!!).

Since I'm not napping I'll blog about what I am doing next.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Moving to the positive

I have been having some real problems with fatigue. I'm eating well. Trying to eat more green and fruit and whole grains. I'm succeeding. We're kinda going vegetarian around here. Mostly because we can't afford organic everything and the meat industry is so unregulated it scares me. I've been exercising 1 hour, 3 days/week. I enjoy it and would like to add more. I've been getting 8.5-9.5 hours of sleep every night! Still, when I wake up after those long hours my whole body feels extremely weak. My mind wakes up pretty well, but I just don't have the energy it seems to move my body out of bed. I stretch and move a bit, but it's difficult to get up. W has been very awesome these last 3 weeks letting me sleep in most days. Those days that he hasn't gotten up before I even realize it I know I gotta get up because he needs to sleep. But it hurts. It's gotten to be painful to even talk in the morning for the first half hour or so. It feels like too much energy. I know I have mild hypothyroidsm. The doctors say its too mild for medication. However, if symptoms are bad enough they'd give it to me. I really don't want to have to take more medication. I'm already on a good bit.

Getting up early for the Praxis tomorrow can help me jump start getting up earlier in the morning... just making myself do it. I want more hours in the day and experts say one should rise at the same time every morning no matter what day. I'm going to try. I can always make myself get up when I have somewhere I need to go, but it's harder when I'm just going to be home.

I need to be less negative. W pointed this out to me today. When I was complaining about how weak my body felt he reminded me that it wasn't good for my body to hear that. He proceded to say I have such little control over my body that it's like my mind and body aren't really connected. Well, this is something I've struggled with my whole life. I have often felt odd in my own body. I'm doing yoga to connect with my body more and other exercise classes to improve my balance and mental control over this body I have. I'm also reading Kris Carr's blog and it's really inspiring me to be more supportive and loving towards my body. This body is my ride on this planet, in this life. I'm going to start something here. I don't know what to call it but here goes:

I love myself. I am tall and strong. I will be stronger with each work-out. I will be stronger with each meal. My fingers are agile. My hips are curvy. My shoulders are broad and it's a good thing. My smile is bright. My eyes are sharp (with corrective lenses). I am healthy. I am enjoying my health. I will continue to enjoy my health.

There. No more dwelling on the fatigue. My mind believes in my body and my body will support my mind.

The Night Before...

THE PRAXIS II! Dun, dun, dun.
Oh boy am I not psyched. First of all, S has been sick all week. She had a low-grade fever Tuesday, then seemed to get progressively better, just needing extra sleep between playing and eating. Then she threw up twice last night, just water. I tried two babysitters because W and I BOTH are taking Praxis tomorrow. We'll NOT be doing this again. It's too risky. Better to have one parent home. Today, though, S has been fine and has eaten well and not been sick after a nap this morning to make up for sleep lost last night to being sick. So, I feel better about sending both the girls to the neighbor's house tomorrow at 7am. Yuck.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

For those interested in potty-training 3 year olds

G was bugging me about something and then quickly ran away holding her crotch. When I went to find her I saw wet foot-prints across the dining room hardwood, the kitchen tile and, though I couldn't see them, I assumed across the rug. The little toes were so distinct on each print I just laughed.
G has become accustomed to simply changing her White Cloud brand training pants (aka pull-ups) whenever we tell her to go potty. Sometimes we follow her to the potty and make sure she actually uses it, but we've been lazy. This weekend, I bought plastic training pants she can wear over REAL underwear. We started her wearing them today. After nap time today I told her if she went potty she could change from her diaper to her underwear. Instead of putting on the underwear she HAD been wearing she just grabbed a plastic training pantie and that is why the wet foot-prints happened.
In total today, the bathroom floor, stool, and toilet seat were soaked twice, the couch once and, of course, the running leak across the house episode. That's really not bad. This may only relate to those who have assisted children in potty training, but once today she did the potty dance and I took her to the potty where she told me her underwear were wet and tried to take them off. When I showed her they were still dry she peed and I was so proud because that was evidence she had felt the need to go and hadn't just let it flow without recognition. That is the whole point of the plastic training pants. Pull-ups haven't worked.
The girl JUST turned 3, so I will be so thrilled if she potty-trains by the end of August. I think we'll have to do pull-ups out of the house for a little while, until maybe SHE asks to just wear underwear. That's how S did it. Of course, we haven't had the same success with poo we had today with recognizing the feeling before peeing, but it was pretty close a few days ago.
G starts preschool next month, maybe even Sept. I'm not sure. It's only 3 hours, 3 mornings a week, but I really don't want her to have to be changed except to change her own wet pull-up. I'd be fine with that. The kids are supposed to be potty-trained, but the teachers are understanding with the new 3s and it's only a short time.

On another note, I'm reading Little House in the Big Woods with S and really enjoying it. It's amazing all they had to do to survive during that time. S is an auditory learner and her recall is amazing. It's the best kind of learner to be, I think, based on how school is most often teacher-centered. I'm following the progress of a new Montessori school starting this year in Baltimore. I'm going to send them a resume, but I'm also watching to see how they do because I might want to apply to have the kids go there after we've lived in Baltimore a year. S will do 1st grade either in our district school or maybe in my school if I teach elementary. G will be in daycare with a 4 year old preschool program our first year there. I really like the Montessori way, especially with the emphasis on art and creativity. Most Baltimore schools say they are Direct Instruction schools, meaning there's a set curriculum every grade has to learn. Montessori has a structured curriculum as well, but is designed for more creativity than the public schools allow. I will not have S, or G, stilted creatively and I will meet with any teacher who stands in the way. I think Kindergarten and 3 year old preschool will be pretty fun for them this year.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

On turning 27

It's only a number. Dr. Oz says my "real age" is close to 3 years younger. It's a nice number. Seven is lucky, right? My husband is still 11 months older than me. I'm STILL 3 years from 30. I don't wanna wish away my twenties, but it's hard to believe I'm still in them! These last few years will be extremely different from my first few years in my twenties. First of all, I got married one week after I turned 20. I just barely escaped being a teenage bride (yuck!). I was pregnant on my 21st birthday which made it a different birthday than I would have imagined, though I didn't throw up from drinking too much which is probably what would have happened if I had not been with child. All-in-all that was a good thing. The first 3 years of my twenties were full of change and were quite stressful. Good, but stressful and definitely hard on myself and my husband emotionally. These last few years will also be full of change and will be stressful. However, the change will be planned and the stress will be for the better because it will surround a move to a new city and also new jobs. My stomach feels tight just thinking about starting new jobs, but it will be something my husband and I have worked towards for a long time.

My 27th birthday is special because it marks the beginning of my daughter's preschool years. My youngest was born on my 24th birthday, so tomorrow morning around 9:45 (can't remember if it was 9:47 or something close to that) she will officially be 3 years old. I no longer have a baby, but a child... two children, actually. And I'm glad. Though I tell people G is getting too big, I don't want a baby, or a 1 year old or a 2 year old. I'm happy with my two girls. My 27th year will be the year I stop changing diapers on a regular basis. I may occasionally get to babysit friend's children who wear diapers, and that's fine because they get to go home by the end of the day! With school approaching, it's time to get this girl going potty. This means a trip to the store tomorrow to stock up on more plastic pants. We have two weeks till the beach and I'm gonna get this girl potty-trained!

27: the age I graduate college. YAY! Hopefully, the age I begin my first teaching position. A whole year ahead of me to say I'm 27. Twenty seven. It's gonna be a good year.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Where is summer?

I love summer, but my summer is almost over and has been pretty busy and somewhat stressful recently. I realized I have only four more weeks of summer. The next week I have VBS, then a week to prepare for my praxis exam, then the exam, then a week to prepare for the beach, then a week at the beach with family. Hopefully it's a good time and things go well with everyone's health and the weather, though health is at the top. I'd rather a rainy week with healthy kids than a sunny week being sick or having sick kids. THEN when I return from the beach I go right into student teaching. BLECH!

Not sure what got into me, but I flipped out!

We went to a child's three year old birthday party today. It was a pretty nice time, for the kids. The kids played in the pool and on the blow-up water slide. Then we all had pizza, yum, and watermelon and changed out of suits and did presents. It was at this time that I held my own almost-three-year old and got a nice splash of poo on my shirt. Wonderful. Someone had some spray Dreft, so I got that on there and you couldn't really smell the poo anymore. Then, the fun continued and we had cake and ice cream. Somewhere in there we did a pull-the-string pinata which didn't work. That was actually nice because ALL the kids got to pull a string hoping it would break it open. The number of strings was perfect. Then the mom just dumped the candy out all over the kids' heads. Eventually I wrangled the kids out of there receiving a compliment on my complexion on the way. The woman said my face looked so nice and clear and here I had been upset because of how much I had been breaking out this summer with the sunblock and the sweat and the terrible periods... too much info? Sorry. So then we get in the car and I realized just how exhausted I was and how I didn't want to hear anymore noise and gave the kids each a lollipop to keep them appeased. It doesn't last long enough and they started asking for more candy and whining that they were so hungry at which point I said they could only have a healthy snack when they got home and to STOP TALKING TO ME!

At home G got a quick bath a snack and then got to bed reasonably well. There was a little fighting on the teeth-brushing and she has this bad habit of running away from me when I call her to come to me. Very frustrating! But S had to sit on the toilet for 20 minutes. That's her normal before bed routine, so I didn't mind that. Then she got a shower, but was so whiny about having to do it and just plain annoying. Finally she finished her shower and I went in her room and saw crayon shavings on her bed and a dowel rod from her puppet-theater curtain my mom made. That's when I flipped out. I'd been around too many little children (and not enough interesting adults). I'd been pooped on. I'd been pestered "Mom, mom, mom, mom, MOM!" I'd been whined too "I don't wanna... " The irresponsibility of my five year old to sharpen a crayon on her bed put me over the edge. Of course, I wish I'd said "S, it's really great how you figured out you could sharpen your crayons with your little pencil sharpener, but next time make sure you do it over the trash can. Now help me clean this up so you can get into bed." I didn't do that. What I did was yell "What the hell is this? Crayon shavings on the bed!?" I also hit the bed with the dowel rod with each word I exclaimed. Then I threw her pencil sharpener in her trash can and sat on her bed ashamed. I hate exploding like that. I think my children see me as a Jekyll/Hyde personality. I told S she is a good person and didn't deserve to be yelled at like that and that I was a naughty mommy to have done that. Wow. What a bitch though.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Using my talents and improving where there are none

Before summer started, I had decided I would complete a painting for the September Art show at the local arts council gallery. Well, I've been painting, but not for the gallery. I've been volunteering my services to my church for Vacation Bible School. It's going to be a Rain forest Adventure and the decorating is awesome. There are vines and beautiful tissue-paper flowers hanging from the ceiling. I painted two banners of leaves, flowers, and branches as well as large paintings of the five Rain forest animals the program created. It has kept me very busy the last two weeks, but I have enjoyed it. The kids go to the church with me and play in the nursery while the moms (yes, stay-at-home-moms and most husbands are military) make decorations.

In addition to spending time painting, I've been doing something else I enjoy: exercising! Woo hoo! I had to get back into it. Surprisingly, it hasn't been as difficult as I had thought. I worked out regularly doing Stroller Strides from last May through December when it got too cold. Seven months of working out had me feeling pretty good. Then winter came and I got a six-week cold virus and then influenza, plus I was trying to do a semester of school. I couldn't really find the time or energy to exercise for five months. Once school was out in May I started going to the Y to do the elliptical but I was missing the class environment that was Stroller Strides. It works better to have someone telling you what to do and to concentrate on that person rather than on the pain... I mean, discomfort. Also, it helps to see other people suffering around you. It makes it more fun! haha! I saw cardio-sculpt was on the schedule and went to that class. Turned out the Vacation Bible School director is the cardio-sculpt instructor. I took my inhaler before my class and got to the point of an asthma attack twice, but just relaxed it a bit and was fine. Then I tried kickboxing by accident the next week because I read the schedule wrong thinking it was cardio-sculpt. Kickboxing kicked ass! It was so fun! And my triceps were actually sore, so I know I got a good work-out. I'm sticking with kickboxing with that instructor. But it's only once a week, so I am doing a cardio-sculpt in the morning as well as one tough Yoga class on Sundays and one easy, relaxing yoga on Wed. after kickboxing. Only, yesterday's "relaxing" yoga class was actually a "relaxing" pilates class because there was a substitute instructor. I was the only participant aside from the instructor's husband and I got individual attention. I am NOT flexible at all. I told her I have a lower-spine injury, which is true though it doesn't really hold me back much, so maybe that made her more understanding and ready with all the modifications that my stiff legs needed. To demonstrate how inflexible I am, I cannot sit up straight with my legs out straight in front of me. I have to either bend my knees, lean back on my hands some or strain to hold my torso upright. I really need these classes for balance, though. Once I saw on the real age site how long someone my age should be able to balance on one leg with my eyes closed and I couldn't do it. I am having trouble with balance in the kickboxing class because of my right foot being twisted out some. Hopefully I'll improve my balance.

When I work out, my diet magically improves. I still eat what I want, but I tend to want healthier foods without forcing myself to choose them. I guess I just don't want to undo the effort I put in. I do need to lose a little weight, nothing drastic, just maybe 8 pounds. Actually I don't want to say I need to lose 8 pounds, because the number on the scale doesn't bother me. I am bothered by how tight my shorts and slacks are fitting these days. I could actually remain the same weight and slim down because of building muscle. I'm not a pear figure really, I'm a rectangle, but I gain weight like a pear (thanks, mom and Mimi and all those before me!), so my butt and hips have increased to an uncomfortable size.

W is starting to get into the gym as well, which is nice because the kids have two examples of putting health as a priority in life. They are enjoying going to the Child Watch and look forward to going to the Y. Summer is good.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Interview

The interview went okay. I wasn't the only applicant. In fact a classmate from last fall's Art Methods class was also interviewing. We are both scheduled for student teaching this fall. The difference is she graduated last December with her art degree THEN started education classes just so she didn't have to take Praxis I. I took Praxis I and passed (well), but didn't graduate though I could have. I saw one other applicant who was 30 min. late, but it didn't matter because they were running behind for some reason. Maybe the first applicant was late. I was there 30 min. early. I heard there were two other interviews that day, so I do not feel confident about getting the position. The only plus is that I gave them pics of my art and included pics of me throwing a pot at the art festival last summer and the theater teacher, one of the interviewers, said they want to get the kiln up and running this year and they have a few wheels. That is where I know I beat out my classmate who never learned to throw. But I don't know about the other applicants and I don't know if that was even brought up in the other interviews because I was the one to ask what type of equipment the school had. Every time the phone rings I get nervous. I don't know if they'll call to say nay. I'm not sure if that's done anymore these days.